Monday, April 25, 2011
Atonement: Souls in the pages of history
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Brick: ‘ Film Noir’ resurrected
‘Brick’ opens with static shots of the shoes of a man on his haunches, followed by a lingering close-up of his eyes staring through glasses. Soon enough, we see what he’s been looking at: a girl lying face-down, unmoving beside a small channel of water that laps at the ends of her golden hair and her dainty, bangled hands. These images are captured with the care and absorption of a fetishist, soaked in the beauty of her person caressed by water flowing gently as well as the pathos of her passing.
The guy, we learn, is Brendan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Informed by a caption that reads “two days previous” (not ‘earlier’, mind you, nor ‘ago’, but ‘previous’), we see Brendan receiving a note bearing the address of a street crossing and a certain time. It is a deserted crossing with only a telephone booth in sight. As Brendan waits at the designated spot, he hears the telephone in the booth ring. He picks it up to find it is a female named Emily who was presumably his ex. Emily has a minor breakdown on the phone and tells Brendan that she “screwed up”. Her speech is rambling, panicky, she uses words like ‘brick’, ‘pin’, ‘tug’ that don’t make any sense to Brendan. Just as she is about to explain things more clearly to Brendan, a black Mustang whizzes by, coinciding with Emily dropping the line in a burst of terror. A half-burnt cigarette is tossed out of the car.
Brendan takes it upon himself to track down Emily and help her with her problems. In his quest, he is aided by his friend simply called ‘Brain’.
The setting for such an engaging intrigue is rather unlikely: a high school. But as the story unfolds we see that it is perfect. Brendan’s enquiries lead him to meet Kara (Megan Good), a staggeringly sultry vixen, who spends time at the high school theatre and has freshmen eating out of her hands. Brendan’s history with her is hinted at. From her, he gains entry into an exclusive house party where he meets the hostess, Laura (Nora Zehetner) and her supposedly macho boyfriend, Brad, a huge black school football champ with an even larger ego and temper. Other characters in this yarn are Tug, a thug with a hair-trigger temper and unending appetite for violence and Dode, a pathetic, snivelling pothead, who Emily is currently with.
Brain tells Brendan about the “upper crust”, an exclusive clique of spoilt, rich kids who indulge in nefarious activities, that include drug dealing, around town and use secret channels of communication to get by without raising suspicion. One of their biggest suppliers is someone known as ‘The Pin’, who is one of those local legends only a chosen few have seen. Emily was rumoured to be last seen with them. He also manages to meet Emily and begs her to let him help her. But she tearfully refuses and says that she is beyond his reach and makes him promise he would not torture himself over her. This is just a day before she is found dead. The rest of the movie follows Brendan trying to plumb this arcane network and find out the truth about Emily’s death.
Now that I’m done with the formality of sketching out the basic premise, let me dive joyfully into the many virtues of this astonishing film. Rian Johnson, in his debut feature, pays a loving ode to film noir. Setting it in a high school is an innovative masterstroke. It does seem mildly frivolous at first, the thought of high school brats, still in their teens, running around trying to double cross each other. And just how chilling, twisted and menacing could it be? Johnson shows us and how!
He takes the usual high school concerns of messy relationships with all their love and lust, heartbreak, peer pressure, ego, insecurity, the desire for acceptance, temptation, addiction, strips them of all frivolity and cheesiness, and crafts a moody, angst-ridden piece that stays with you long after you’re through watching it.
The characters are devious and twisted and all the more chilling since we know they are mere teenagers. Johnson uses his high school setting to his great advantage. They speak in the glib, coolly irreverent, piquant lingo of the hardboiled novels of Hammett and Chandler and make every word of dialogue their own.
The cinematography is stylised in such a controlled and deliberate way, it is mesmerising. It captures the vast empty spaces of Southern California, as a wilderness of meadows and concrete, with perpetually grey skies as metaphors for the melancholia of the lead characters. In that respect, as well as the recurring presence of a water canal, it bears similarities with ‘Chinatown’, one of the best noir films ever. The way the director frames his images is beautiful. I happened to come across a collection of still, random images taken from the film. They are wonderfully symmetrical and poised. The images are sharply drawn, the use of light and shade, so crucial and essential to noir, is handled dextrously. The scenes towards the end, in the Pin’s lair should explain what I mean.
The movie is all atmosphere and ambience, created by the camera, the sharp sound design and, most of all, the incredibly haunting score. Right from the opening scenes, the languidly pensive strains of a guitar complementing the chilly, yet pleasing chimes of a metallophone create a sense of foreboding tinged with sadness. The trumpet, indispensable to noir, kicks in at the right time to convey the sense of barely suppressed emotion and shocking disclosure.
The females in Johnson’s world are creatures of exquisite beauty and guile. They are driven by love, lust and greed for money and social standing. They would, without batting an eyelid, readily sacrifice those in their power to achieve their own ends. It’s not the first time we have seen such characters, but their utterly convincing portrayals elevate them way above the ordinary.
I cannot comment on the performances without revealing the characters which, in this case, would be a crime. Just suffice it to say that, after watching them here, I am bewitched by Nora Zehetner and Megan Good. However, I cannot help but speak about a couple of them. This is one of the earliest adult performances of Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who had previously been a prolific child actor. He fully embodies the spirit of the noir hero, brooding, smooth, yet rugged, with a murky past, blasé, immune to the charms of the numerous femme fatales, yet vulnerable and ultimately devastated. Much like the movie, despite his extremely boyish looks, he projects a kind of a stiff authority and commands our attention. Before he did ‘Inception’ and ‘GI Joe’, before he was signed on for ‘The Dark Knight Rises’, he did such fiercely independent and vastly interesting movies like ‘Manic’, ‘Mysterious Skin’, this one, and the inimitable ‘(500) days of Summer’. It speaks volumes about his courage and maturity. A word about Lukas Haas without revealing what he plays. He is simply magnetic. His unusual looks, coupled with his sense of style and characterisation make it impossible for us to tear our eyes away from him.
All its merits apart, what’s most inspiring is the fact that Rian Johnson made his debut feature on a budget of $475,000, borrowing money from his friends and family. And pulled off such a beauty. Little wonder, then, that it won the 2005 Jury Prize for Originality of Vision at the Sundance Film Festival.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Powder: Flower Power for Indian Television
Friday, March 18, 2011
In Bruges: A dozen shots of Irish coffee
Friday, March 4, 2011
Miller’s Crossing: where twisted yarn meets enduring art
Why don’t we dress like that anymore? Fedoras, trench-coats, 3 piece-suits, waistcoats, tailcoats, silken dressing-gowns, pocket-watches, it was the zenith of sartorial resplendence back in the West of the 1930’s. The experience of watching films like ‘The Untouchables’, ‘Public Enemies’, ‘The Aviator’, ‘The Godfather’, ‘Road to Perdition’, ’Shutter Island’ is enriched, in no small measure, by the design of their apparel. As a kid, I remember watching ‘The Godfather’ and ‘The Untouchables’ seduced solely by the recurrent visual motif of a dark silhouette cloaked in a trench-coat, fedora pulled low, toting a tommy gun. The cocky tilt of the fedora brim, pistols whipped out of the folds of dark, sweeping coats, cigars vying with glasses of scotch and brandy (usually in speakeasies and go-downs) over games of whist and bridge, these are visual synecdoches that catapult us into their world.
All the movie mentioned above are set in a defined milieu. Exactly half of them were, of course, true stories, and so, most certainly, based on recorded history. The other half despite being fiction, had enough real-life references to convey a sense of verisimilitude to the audience. For instance, ‘The Godfather,’ today, has such a rich legacy, we almost believe the Corleone family existed. Of course, the fictional links to Al Capone, its all-too-recognisable New York City setting and its encyclopaedic knowledge of the Italian-American mafia reinforce that fallacy. It is somewhat similar for ‘Road ...’ and ‘Shutter Island’.
A lesser-known, but no less evocative, movie is ‘Miller’s Crossing’, by the Coen brothers. It is an exception in more ways than one. Unlike the above-mentioned movies, there is no literal indication of time and place in this one. It is set in a nameless town at an unspecified time. But the very evocation of time and place is so strong, that we, the audience can make an unerring guess. The devices used for this purpose are the costumes, the lingo, the story, the nature of the interactions between the characters, and the events that govern them.
The first scene itself sets the tone and mood for what follows. It establishes most of the principal characters who are present either in person or are alluded to. The movie opens with the voice of Johnny Caspar (Jon Polito), indignant, querulous, beseeching. He sits before Leo (Albert Finney), who is clearly the boss, rattling off in his blunt Italian-American accent. Caspar is a large, sweaty, blustering man, complaining about a bookie named Bernie who, apparently, double-deals in fixed matches that Caspar bets on, resulting in heavy losses for him. He wants to kill Bernie, and wants to let Leo know his reasons before doing so. Leo, an imposing, stately-looking old warhorse, refuses flatly, stating that Bernie pays him money for protection. This enrages Caspar, who feels slighted that Leo favours a small-time bookie like Bernie over him. In his indignance, he screams, ‘I’m sick of coming here everytime to kiss your Irish ass. And I’m sick of getting the high hat!’ We see The Dane (J.E. Freeman), a tall henchman with smouldering eyes, fiercely loyal to Caspar, reflecting Caspar’s mutinous rage at having to be under Leo’s thumb all the time. Leo replies with all the considerable authority of his position, ‘You are only as big as I allow you to be’. A mute (but, by no means, helpless) spectator to this tussle of wills is Tom (Gabriel Byrne), who calmly sips whiskey all this while.
After Caspar and his henchman have stormed out of Leo’s office, Tom speaks up for the first time. He warns Leo about protecting Bernie and thus inviting Caspar’s hostility. Bernie’s too trivial to go to war with Caspar, he reasons. Leo in his conceit and power, does not heed Tom’s advice, merely laughing it off. Tom is a man of medium built, with aquiline features, laconic, enigmatic. He talks smart, talks reason, something people around him are often unable or loath to see. Most importantly, he talks mildly amidst hot-headed, bombastic, egoistic men, another reason he isn’t paid any heed. Tom learns that the real reason for Leo’s reluctance to go hard on Bernie is Verna. Leo, at his ripe age, feels the stirrings of romantic love for Verna (Marcia Gay Harden), who happens to be Bernie’s sister. For the sake of his love (actually, more for his pride), Leo ‘can still trade body blows with any man in this town’ as he boasts to Tom. ‘Except you, Tom’, he adds more gently. ‘And Verna’, Tom shoots back softly. A further kink to this chain of events is added by the romantic liaison between Tom and Verna. Tom is torn between his love for Verna and his loyalty to Leo. Verna is an opportunistic slut, a veteran at seducing men of power and turning them into her puppets. Tom sees through this very quality of hers, sees how much of a puppet Leo has become. He tries to make Leo see reason, but fails. He tries to threaten Verna off Leo, but she is just too seasoned a player to back off. She, in turn realises, the only way she can save her brother, is to control Leo. Amidst this deadlock, there is a murderous attempt on Leo’s life which he manages to stave off single-handedly. Tom, rattled, immediately owns up his affair with Verna before Leo. Leo is shocked, and in his rage, fuelled by his insecurity and jealousy, beats up Tom and throws him out of his building, threatening to kill him if he ever appears before him again.
We see Tom join hands with Leo’s rivals, Caspar and the Dane. To prove his loyalty to them, Tom is immediately ordered to pinch and bump off Bernie (John Turturro) at the eponymous Miller’s Crossing, indeed the only named place in the movie. What follows is a tale that is both unbelievably twisted, yet masterful in its unspooling. There are police raids, shoot-outs, double-crosses, murders (some realised, some threatened), scenes of coal-black humour, all played out by riveting dialogue that pays homage to the rapier-sharp, eclectic dialogue of Chandler and Hammett, in their immediacy and colloquialism. Sample these: ‘if you can’t trust a fixed fight, what can you trust?’, ‘take your flunkey and dangle’, ‘I never met anyone who made being a son-of-a-bitch such a point of pride as you, Tom’.
The insight the Coens offer us into the lives and backgrounds of these people with their acute sense of detail is immense. For instance, take the scene in which Caspar’s go-down is raided by the police ostensibly to bust all the illegal liquor in there. But the real motive of the raid is to free Tom who has been captured by Caspar’s men and is being worked on. The police carry out this raid at Leo’s behest. In this one scene, Leo’s power over the town, and its pervasive corruption are established, along with a masterful evocation of the Prohibition era. In a bravura directorial flourish, we see Tom nimbly grab a bottle of fine Scotch off a table, just as the table is kicked over by the rampaging police. As the entire godown with its illegal liquor is trashed, Tom calmly swaggers out, glugging straight from the bottle, escorted by the police. The way the camera frames the juxtaposition of Tom walking out untouched, with the chaos of the police running amok, smashing everything and everyone in their way, is sheer class.
The rivalry between Caspar and Leo is a representation of the clash between two of the most dominant groups of American immigrants: the Italian- and the Irish-Americans respectively. The reasons for their rivalry go deeper than mere greed and lust for power. They are ethnic, as evidenced by Caspar’s reference to Leo’s ‘Irish ass’ and to Bernie as a ‘schmutz’ (an orthodox Jewish word for filth). It is details like these that lay bare the worlds of these characters.
The movie nearly bursts at the seams with plot and character. I’ve just tried to present the bare essentials here. Filled with a dozen more subplots, each blending into the others, this is surely one of the most dense screenplays written in Hollywood. It bears a strong resemblance to ‘Red Harvest’ by Hammett and ‘The Big Sleep’ by Chandler, both watersheds in noir fiction. ‘Miller’s Crossing’, though, is more of a gangster flick awash with noir imagery and plot devices. It would have been complete noir had the central character been a ‘private eye’ or a ‘Pinkerton dick’. The Coens famously suffered from writers’ block while writing it. It doesn’t show in the final product. There is seamless meticulousness and flawless mise-en-scene at work here. Barry Sonnenfeld’s cinematography is studied, deliberate yet adept at capturing every nuance, every contour of expression and ambience that places the viewer right in the middle of shifty, treacherous world inhabited by the characters.
Carter Burwell’s sparse, moving score lends a touch of pensive poignancy, grand tragedy and human warmth to this tale of loyalty, betrayal and rivalry.
Albert Finney as Leo, is so scarily effective in the scene when he shoots down half a dozen men sent to kill him, single-handedly, that when another character says of him, ”the old man’s still an artist with the Thompson’, we cannot but agree. Yet he is vulnerable, insecure and sincere in his love for Verna, and in his admissions to Tom whom he considers a friend and close confidant. The most interesting aspect of the relationship between Leo and Verna is that it is never shown onscreen, just talked about, despite being the driving force of the story. It is a measure of the writing and the performances that we feel the strength of the invisible bonds that tie them together. The same goes for the relationship between Verna and her brother Bernie, another focal point of the conflict in the story.
Marcia Gay Harden’s Verna is a tougher, darker and more hard-boiled take on the femme fatale. She seduces Leo, knowing he has the power to protect Bernie. She carries on a stormy affair with Tom who she perceives as a heartless man, yet is excited by his unruffled, devil-may-care demeanour and his city-slicker ways. Yet she isn’t above crossing him, and creating a rift between him and Leo in order to protect her brother. An extremely complex role pulled off effortlessly by Marcia Gay Harden.
Gabriel Byrne’s act is just like his character: understated, mysterious, ruggedly stylish, yet fiercely intelligent. His craggy features couple with his slightly drawling, mangled Irish accent heighten his mysterious allure. His face displays emotion, subtly yet surely. In a character whose very actions, motivations and their modus operandi form the core of the film’s suspense, hidden to the audience, until a grand moment of epiphany, he excels.
But the scene-stealer of this ensemble remains John Turturro as the human Macguffin, the knot that entangles the threads of this story irrevocably. As Bernie, the bookie everyone’s after either to protect or to kill, he is simply a stunning knockout. Throughout the film, there are references to him being gay. Turturro’s body language, hairstyle, lisp and voice tone scream ‘Gay!’ The scene with Gabriel Byrne in the clearing in the woods, is his crowning glory, hands-down. Forced to walk at gunpoint by Tom, on the way to be shot in the head, Bernie’s blithering, flailing, paroxysmal cries for mercy and forgiveness manage to raise gooseflesh, something remarkable in a film filled with cynical, twisted, pitiless characters. ‘I can’t die in the woods like some dumb animal’, he bawls uncontrollably as Tom bears down inexorably on him. Turturro’s submission to his character has to be seen to be believed.
A film like this is meant to be savoured, mulled upon, viewed repeatedly to enjoy treasures supplied anew with every viewing. Soaked in rich dialogue and wonderfully intricate detail, steeped in musings about the workings of the human heart, ‘Miller’s Crossing’ elevates a tale of gangsters and their ilk, in all their noir trappings, to the level of serious art.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
A much-needed shot in the arm for Bollywood
I was a mere 10 year old when the Jessica Lall case first erupted and permanently branded itself into public consciousness. I was too young to understand its complete implications right then, and was even baffled at the uniformly strong reactions the case elicited from everyone around me. The case went on long enough for me to catch up. By the time it reached its preposterous verdict, I, like most others, was seething with indignation. But, unlike most others, my rage was impotent. It did not translate into anything. Thankfully, the rage of thousands did translate into the case being re-opened, fast tracked by the Delhi High Court, and the accused finally being sentenced fittingly.
‘No One Killed Jessica’, the film based on the same case, deftly captures the zeitgeist of those times, in terms of the anger, injustice, betrayal and absurdity felt by the public. It does really well in offering glimpses into the most burning issues of that time, namely the Kargil War and the IC-814 hijacking, alongside the central case. Where it falters, however, is in the execution of the material especially the depiction of the investigations and the courtroom sequences. These are portrayed in the manner of old-school potboilers, albeit with some piquant dialogues. Too loud, too offensive, needlessly dramatic. The characters, especially those on the side of the main accused, are again portrayed as caricatures and, I suspect, coloured by self-righteous anger. Note the repetitive entry of the mother of the chief accused who just whines about getting her son back. The only reason she is there in the film is to provoke the scornful anger of the audience. Agreed, the accused, once found guilty, does not deserve clemency, but repeatedly showing the mother irrationally whining for her errant son simply to elicit disdain from the audience is totally uncalled for.
Another glitch is Rani Mukherjee’s character, that of the firebrand journalist. Or rather, her performance. She wears her bitchiness/truculence on her sleeve as if it were a regal insignia, an affirmation of her supremacy in this world. Her attitude towards everyone around her, bar none, is a condescending one. Rani plays it full of hot air, swearing non-stop, generally giving everyone hell, her act pitched high. An icier, more hard-nosed, wry, cynical approach would have greatly helped. Nevertheless, she performs the role with great relish.
In contrast, Vidya Balan’s act is surprisingly subdued. Playing Sabrina, Jessica’s sister, who fought almost singlehandedly to claim justice for her, Vidya is a delight to watch, both in terms of performance and characterisation. At the beginning, she appears aptly stunned and furious at the shocking demise of her sister. Later, as the case drags on and it takes a toll on her and her family (she loses her mother and almost loses her father) we see her exhausted, weary to her bones. She follows the case right to its shocking verdict. Seeing her sister’s killers go scot-free so flagrantly, after seven long years of fighting for justice, she is just numb. Forced into being immune to it all. That sense of dullness and torpor is so well conveyed by Vidya Balan, we actually mistake it for lacklustre acting on some occasions. Until the confrontation scene between Rani and Vidya, when the latter summons her last reserves of strength just to convey her pent-up frustration and grief. It reminds us that the women we celebrate as being of substance are human too. The film is not shy to offer us that all-too-rare insight into Sabrina Lall. She is only jolted out of her apathy by the potent anger of a host of people across the country, galvanised into action (as the film suggests) by the forceful rhetoric of Rani’s character. A superb scene in this regard would be the one in which a hospital attendant for Sabrina's father sends an SMS in support of Jessica and her father thanks her for it. He then adds, 'Don't tell Sabrina, she'll get angry'. And then he smiles lovingly. The little smile of hope that this one small, selfless act brings to her father's face, the little victory that he achieves, is so spontaneous and disarming, it is genuinely moving. At the same time it serves to show the emotional states of Sabrina and her father at that point of transition perfectly.
Rajesh Sharma, as the chief investigating officer, and Neil Bhoopalam, as the key witness, turn in really compelling acts of conflicted characters torn between societal pressures and ethics in this imbroglio.
Amit Trivedi’s music and background score are simply inseparable from the movie. There is a rare maturity, an uncommon self-possession, a ‘theheraav’, as they say in Hindi, in his work for this film. Aided by Amitabh Bhattacharya’s astounding wordplay, he has crafted an album that is sheer magic. ‘Yeh Pal’, ‘Dua’, ‘Aitbaar’ are watersheds in terms of music, arrangements, vocals, lyrics and the sheer emotions that they evoke. Amitabh is one of the best lyricists working today. Just listen to his repertoire in these three songs and you’ll know what I mean. Most lyricists use words within a certain limited set. But Amitabh’s wordplay encompasses not just words repeated ad nauseam in Hindi film music, but Sanskrit, rustic Hindi colloquialisms, endemic Delhi lingo, chaste Urdu, a lot of his own innovations; quite simply, an idiom of Hindi long forgotten by Bollywood.
In terms of authenticity, the film is kind of patchy, choosing to use a few real names, but a lot of changed ones. But it follows the sequence of events quite accurately, and one can draw several parallels between real-life figures and their on-screen counterparts. One can also see several eminent personalities insinuated by their signature mannerisms, clothing, hairstyles and distinctive voices.
The biggest lesson I learnt from this case was the importance of action, and the dangers of apathy. The film portrays this one aspect spot-on. In this sense, it is a soulmate of another similarly provocative film, ‘Rang De Basanti’, a similarity that this movie acknowledges. In fact, the film portrays the role that ‘RDB’ played in arousing public opinion in this case, that was ultimately instrumental in its reopening, and subsequently triumphant closure.
For this reason alone, it is one of the most important films to come out of Bollywood, right alongside ‘Black Friday’, ‘Hazaaron Khwaishen Aisi’, ‘Parzania’, ’RDB’. And for this reason, the director deserves a huge round of applause. Rajkumar Gupta’s debut film, ‘Aamir’ was much more taut, tense and disturbing than this one. Though allegedly copied/inspired, the film echoed several real-life incidents chillingly. But thematic similarities between the two films abound. Both the films had lone protagonists thrust suddenly, unwillingly into Kafkaesque, nightmarish situations. In both cases the protagonists had to fight for their loved ones against all-powerful forces spread across the wilderness of a harsh, unforgiving cityscape. Both of them act as what they feel is right, heedless of the consequences. Both are commoners, a fact that lends their stories a certain immediacy and urgency.
I know this is somewhat irrational, but I sincerely hope that this film creates an impact similar to what ‘RDB’ created, for the sake of many more such cases currently in the courts.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Farah's Family Affair
Any piece of art, (or for the purpose of this post, just about anything), always, at its genesis, starts off raw, before being fine-tuned and chiselled to perfection (relative, I know). Over the course of my entire conscious life, I can recall only one exception to this rule. Let me, then, follow it, and present my thoughts and emotions in their rawest form, much like Farah Khan’s latest work, one that feels freshly ejected out of a stomach (upwards or downwards, don’t ask me how, don’t ask me whose).
The most common mistake, (grievously injurious, if not fatal) people would make is to deem it as one of those leave-your-brains at-home ones. They would pay for it dearly with their empty skulls, smashing them to bits, while their precious contents lay safely at home. Unaware readers would probably be shocked, thinking she has made something with at least an iota of sense. The only thing more shocking than that, is this hard, cold fact: her most recent offering is miles below her last work. Yes, everyone, she has managed to undercut her own abysmally low standard. Here is an ‘artist’ who, in that sense, has constantly reinvented and refined herself.
For this admirable feat she has her brother to thank. They seemed to have engaged in a game of one-‘up’manship that has produced several gems over the last few years. All of their work is a tribute to the Hindi cinema of the 80’s which they are desperate to recall back to life. One would think I’m doing her a service writing about her work, but believe me, I’m doing myself the greatest favour by purging myself of it.
Is Farah Khan biologically female? And, for that matter, is Shirish Kunder, biologically male? Normally, these questions are none of my business, but when such confusion and identity crises crop up in a piece of work where the former is credited as ‘director’ and the latter takes credit for ‘story’ and ‘dialogues’, and when this piece of work is thrust upon an unsuspecting audience, most of whom do not share the abovementioned couple’s homegrown bawdy sense of ‘humour’, my mind is hard pressed to ask them.
A trio of pansies frolic around in pink, fawning over the lead bimbette gazing longingly at her flawless beauty, simmering with barely-suppressed lust and jealousy at the same time. They are forever in heat, waiting to prey on just about anyone with a flat chest. The bimbette, on the other hand, played by an ‘actress’....... wait, more on her later.
Anyway, the bimbette is the most honest character here (helped greatly by a career-best performance). Just looking luscious and changing costumes by the dozen. Well, she happens to be a female too (not just biological, she’s a WOMAN) in case we had forgotten. Farah Khan devotes three songs and about ¼ the running time to show her in all her womanhood, with a super-toned figure and voluptuous hip-shake to boot. The bimbette curls up in heat for everyone other than her owner. Whereas the owner tries his best to keep her on tight leash, awkwardly covering her juicy limbs before everyone. Talk about women empowerment. Again, I wonder who is the woman among the two, Khan or Kunder? Indeed, they touch some really deep issues about gender and sexuality. It would have helped had these issues not been about themselves.
The male lead is, well, hard to lay a finger on. Mouthing filth, handling eye-candy all throughout, he does serve as every woman’s fantasy.........., or wait, was it a man’s wet dream? Or was it gay? Or was it that every man is gay? Or every woman is gay? Or every woman is a man? Or every man is bisexual? See what I’m talking about?
I think they tried their best to reach out to physically challenged people, primarily the deaf. Like Bhansali, who tries to reach the blind through blinding razzle-dazzle, they try to reach the deaf by raising hell with voices. All of them here scream till they are sure each and every member of the audience sees every vein, every nerve, every orifice, every pore screaming in tandem. Never mind if she deafens those cursed with a normal hearing, to death. We’ll wait for Farah to reach us in her next outing.
What transpires on screen is a mirror for real-life. What the male lead does to a bunch of naive villagers is what Farah and her partner Kunder do to us, the naive audience. And the entire episode of the headless horseman is thrown in.............. for what? To do an expose on child labour? Human trafficking? Drug-running? Kidnapping? To show that con-artists too have a heart? Or the dilemma of an unlikely hero? Or just to show us they are capable of paying a tribute to something as esoteric as ‘Sleepy Hollow’?
Probably the only thing Farah knows as a director is to do spoofs. If an entire lifetime in the industry, armed with unending passion for ‘masala’ movies (so they claim) yields something like this, or like some of her brother’s work, it spells nothing but doom for the Hindi film industry.
And what’s with the beeped-out piece of dialogue in the lead’s signature line that is repeated ad nauseam? This, when ribald cracks at the gay community abound? The Censors are really hand-in-glove-in-crotch/ cheek-by-jowl-by-pube with the makers.
Pardon me for being so scattered, but what, exactly, do we go into a movie for, paying through our orifices, as we do? Acting? Story? Drama? Dialogues? Good looking people? Camera-work, editing, set design, for sticklers? Good songs, at least? Exotic locations? Humour, if nothing else? If so, what do we make of this, devoid as it is, of any of the above? What do we enjoy? The sight of an overheated bimbette dancing suggestively in revealing dresses before a village full of half-naked, skeletal, hungry (in more ways than one) villagers, cruelly tempting them. Or Siamese twins sharing a trouser? Or a blind albino being slapped around, dressed as a Britisher in colonial India for a half-assed film? Honestly, I would have loved it had they shown her being devoured limb-by-limb by those villagers. Am I justified then, in refusing to deem this as a movie? What is it, then? From what I see, it is home-made X-rated material. Meant for an extremely select audience, meant to be kept within the family. Just between the couple at the heart of it. Probably an anniversary gift to each other. Meant for nights when they feel a little low. The other couple involved here, the male lead and his real-life wife, probably gift similar presents to each other every year, going by his regular work.
The last time the lead bimbette decided to act slutty onscreen she gave us ‘Boom’. That occurrence was historical in the way it systematically decimated the careers of almost all those associated with it and took a sizeable portion of viewers’ minds with it. Except for the bimbette and a certain superstar. As the Joker says, “what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stranger.” The bimbette has deigned to act slutty onscreen again. She has recreated the occurrence quite accurately.
It is a matter of grave and immediate concern for the basic intelligence of the human race that there exist beings on this planet carrying Farah Khan and Shirish Kunder’s genetic material and fully capable of transmitting it to others. But then again, unbelievable as it may seem, Farah Khan and Farhan Akhtar are first cousins. Maybe there is hope for the human race, after all.